stoicism

Stoicism Family Conflict

Association of Excellence
May 14, 2025•2 min read

Dear Gentlemen,


I hope this message finds you well and refreshed after a fulfilling weekend.


I wanted to broach a sensitive issue that has been presenting quite the challenge recently - navigating familial conflicts. Grappling with deep-seated insecurities in a cousin-in-law that have transformed into outright hostility towards my wife and myself. Also, I had a sharp disagreement with my father-in-law, that turned into a yelling match. This situation has been very difficult, for my family and I, and the last thing I wanted to do was cause division amongst my wife’s family. So, it begs the proverbial question: What's a man to do when he has forces WITHIN his own family working against him?


Resort to physical or emotional duel? Assert Dominance? These all sound tempting, but are they truly the solutions? Here is where I found an anchor in the ancient philosophy of Stoicism.


A stoic man embraces the principles of Stoicism, which advocate focusing on what is within one's control and disregarding the uncontrollable. He recognizes that while he cannot dictate the actions or words of others - in this case, a confrontational father-in-law and cousin-in-law - he holds the reins to his reactions, thoughts, and attitudes.

In keeping with his stoic ethos, he tackles the tumultuous environment with composure. He appraises their words from an unbiased lens, ensuring that the negativity does not infiltrate his mental stronghold. According to Stoicism, the venom from others only impedes him if he gives it the power to it. 


He perceives that often; the most hurtful people are those hurting the most. Their reactions might stem from fear, insecurity, or personal discontentment, which reflects more on them than on him. However, while compassionate, the stoic man stays steadfast to his principles, safeguarding his dignity and self-worth. He creates and maintains healthy boundaries, negating the possibility of prolonged abuse. 


Family, friendship, and even masculinity demand our understanding, patience, and, at times, our willingness to gain wisdom from adversity. A stoic man not only survives turbulence, he thrives within it, drawing strength from adversity in a way that fosters understanding, peace, and respect.

I hope this message serves you as it did me!


Stay Excellent

Rolando Almanzar



Born in the Bronx and raised in Orlando, the author grew up in a financially struggling but loving household led by his mother and grandmother. In his teens, he lost direction—falling into bad influences, identity struggles, and substance abuse—largely due to the absence of a strong male role model. This changed in his mid-20s when he met a mentor who redefined masculinity and personal growth for him. By his 30s, though successful, he still longed for a deeper brotherhood that combined personal development, business, mindset, and fitness. To fill that gap, he co-founded The Association of Excellence, a community where men hold each other accountable and strive for greatness—without gimmicks.

Rolando Almanzar

Born in the Bronx and raised in Orlando, the author grew up in a financially struggling but loving household led by his mother and grandmother. In his teens, he lost direction—falling into bad influences, identity struggles, and substance abuse—largely due to the absence of a strong male role model. This changed in his mid-20s when he met a mentor who redefined masculinity and personal growth for him. By his 30s, though successful, he still longed for a deeper brotherhood that combined personal development, business, mindset, and fitness. To fill that gap, he co-founded The Association of Excellence, a community where men hold each other accountable and strive for greatness—without gimmicks.

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